August 25, 2003
-
I've decided to give my therapist another try. I'm not real sure that I want to but I'm going to. My next appointment is this coming Saturday, the 30th. I have a pdoc appointment on Friday, the 29th.
I've been pretty down since my last therapy session and can't seem to pull out of the funk. I'm not totally stuck in the marsh of depression but I'm not all sunshine and smiles either. I wish I would have a good hypomanic cycle and then I wouldn't have to feel any pain at all. *sigh*
I think about shit too much. I wish I could just not think. Just turn the old brain off for awhile, ya know? But I can't. It runs constantly. I can't stop it. There are constant thoughts and pictures in it... thoughts and pictures that I don't want in there. The more I resist them the more there are of them.
I fucking hate being like this! I hate my past! I hate my present! I'll probably hate my future too!
SHIT. I didn't mean for this to turn into another bad blog.
Comments (5)
Yes yes..sucks for all of us Bipolars.
Oh I totally hear ya. I'ts torture. My Pdoc gave me seriquel for that very problem, and I had a few ''meltdowns'' on it so I stoped taking it. The best advise I can give you that really works for me, is to exercise. Try going for a long walk. Listen to some music if thats what you like. Focus on anything that has to do with nature-birds,sky,trees,......Also, drink plenty of water.
I find the thoughts are worse when I barricade myself in my room for to long. Its as if the thoughts bounce off the walls and have nowhere else to go but back in my head. Thats why a long walk is such a good idea. Also, try to stay away from suger and caffiene because they can enhance the racing thoughts and cause you to have more anxiety.
A lot of the symptoms we experience can be alleviated just by eating a healthier diet and a little bit of exercise. They may still be there, but they will be more tolerable.
I hope things get better for you sistah. -HUGS- : )
Stormy,
I'm glad you decided to give your therapist another chance. It's just work, work, work for us to get better, and some of the stuff we have to do isn't pleasant or easy.
I know about the thoughts. Sometimes the worst thing we can do is be alone with nothing to do. I try to get out and do something. Be with somebody. We can be bad company for ourselves sometimes.
One foot in front of the other.
-Jonathan
hey, don't feel bad. i know how it feels. i experience this alot. anyhow, hope your therapist won't talk crap this time. cheers
Moon
I don't know what I am. Just messed up.
Comments are closed.