August 26, 2002

• Q&A Entry...

  
  

  As a friend, what can I do to help someone with bipolar disorder?
  -Jake
  
  Hi Jake,

  
  

  What a wonderful and complex question! Thank you for emailing it!

  
  

  In order to help a friend that is bipolar, you have to take several things into consideration, the first and most important factors would be: Has your friend been dx'ed (diagnosed) with Bipolar Disorder already? Has your friend already seen a doctor and is your friend currently on medication?

  
  

   

  
  

  If so, then the best way to help them is to just be there for them and to remember that if and when they try to push you out by saying mean and hurtful things to you, that it's the disorder and not them. We bipolars tend to try to shut the people out that we love the most in order to protect them from us. I know that sounds backwards, but that's what a lot of us do... I'm not saying we all do it, but in my experience with my own disorder and with others I have known... we just do that.

  
  

   

  
  

  You can also GENTLY remind them to take their meds if they are not taking them. Be careful though...  we can easily fly off the handle when someone tries to remind us for several reasons such as it gets in our head that those reminding us think that we can't take care of ourselves and thoughts such as those. We know, in our logical mind that isn't true, but when we are cycling... the logical brain tends to take a vacation from us.

  
  

   

  
  

  A great way to help your bipolar friend is to be there to listen. So many times we feel so alone... like there is no one who could possibly understand what we're going through and in fact, it's in my opinion, if you don't suffer with the illness yourself, you will never be able to COMPLETELY understand, but if you educate yourself with all the wonderful books and websites (example: http://bipolar.about.com/mbody.htm ), you can understand a little better then if you were to go into it blind.

  
  

   

  
  

  There are sometimes obvious signs of a cycle happening. If a mania is approaching, the person can become hyperactive... lots of energy, insomnia, feeling euphoric, rapid speech... it's like I said in an earlier post, it's like the Tasmanian Devil on speed. If a depression cycle is approaching, obvious symptoms can be crying spells, feelings of worthlessness, low or zero self-esteem, sleep patterns changes like sleeping in excess or on the other hand, not sleeping at all, suicidal thoughts, loss of enjoyment in things that they normally love, isolation... there are so many symptoms of the cycles.

  
  

   

  
  

  Then there are those that show no symptoms at all... they suffer in silence. Those are harder to recognize.

  
  

   

  
  

  If your friend has never been dx'ed, try to get them into a pdoc (physiatrist) so that they can get dx'ed. Bipolar Disorder can be a potentially fatal disorder if not treated.

  
  

   

  
  

  I hope this has helped, and if you need more specifics, please don't hesitate to email me again. I'm more then happy to help. And, btw, I think you are a wonderful person to want to help your friend. In my opinion, it takes a hero to stick with the Bipolar person because we tend to put our loved ones through the mill.

  
  

  
  LL&BB,
  

  • 7:35 pm
  • 4 Comments