Question for my readers...

Does the articles that I post here help you?

Would you rather see articles or personal entries or a mixture of both?

What would you like to see here on this site of bipolar disorder?

We will not forget      Like people all over the world, I sat, horrified, watching the television one year ago today, at the cowardly and sensless acts of terrorism on my country.      In stunned disbelief, I watched as CNN showed the second plane crash into the World Trade Center.      Forgive me if this personal entry upsets you, but I need to get it out myself.      Not being able to help in any other way on that day, I kept the television tuned to CNN and set about creating a tribute website. I was like thousands of others who could only sit watch from home or work, not there at ground zero to help. Then the next day, when the call went out for people to give blood at local blood banks, I went. I could, at least, help in that way.      Today, one year later, I'm still horrified at the senslessness of it all. I have updated my tribute site with a poem in honor of all that was lost on that day and since then. If you would like to visit the site, you can find it at http://www.stormys-solutions.com/rememberance , but I want to share the poem here as well: One Year Ago Today By: Stormy Stevens © 9/11/02 It's been one year today that lives were stolen away by acts of cowardice. We mourn for those who are gone their lives ended so wrong and pray for those left behind. The terror is not forgotten the target is still Bin Lauden he will pay for his sins. But we focus on our own and on all of those now known for what they faced that day. My tears fall for them all the pain still fresh and raw for what was lost one year ago today. September 11, 2001 and all that was lost will not be forgotten.

Q&A Entry and Personal Entry...

I know this question might be stupid .. but isn't it hard having a family with kids and also dealing with your situation of BP?

Posted 9/4/2002 at 12:43 am by liloXwaity Lilo, that wasn't a stupid question at all. In fact, its a very good question! It is, at times, extremely hard dealing with family things while going through a cycle of depression, mania or mixed cycles. Its not only hard for me, but very hard on my loved ones. It does make me feel very quilty because they don't deserve to have to go through the hell that I sometimes put them through without meaning to. My husband and children are *used to* me being the way I am. Another thing I am guilty about because they don't deserve to have to be *used to* it all. During the times that I am cycling so bad that all I can do is sleep, my husband takes care of everything. He cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids and the animals... the whole nine yards along with working his full time job. My children help out with the cleaning and all that since they are old enough to do so. I have all sons, aged 16, 13 and soon to be 12 years old. My almost 12 year old also has BP as well as ADHD and sometimes its a real battle field around here when we start to cycle at the same time. My husband, I must mention, is my hero. He has saved me from myself too many times to count. He has lifted me up out of that depression abyss and everything else. I am sooooo fortunate to have him in my life. I don't know what I would do without him. He took me to my appointment on Tuesday after working a 12 hour shift. I knew he was tired, but he insisted that he personally take me because he knows how I am and he wanted to make sure I got there without having a panic attack or anything like that. My first appointment, by the way, went very well. I really like my new pdoc and he has me coming in to see him every two weeks for now. That's a good thing, because I know that I need that kind of intense therapy at this time. He told me to continue my Neurontin, even though he isn't a huge supporter of it, as well as my Buspar. He is going to slowly wean me off of both. He added Lamictal and Zyprexa to my medication cocktail. He said after we get me stablized on the meds, then we would work on all my other issues. Issues I didn't even realize I had until they came out while talking with him for two hours! He also gave me a mood chart to do this month. I don't mind doing it, but I'm scared that I will forget to fill it out each day. So far, I've done pretty well with it, but then I only started doing it Tuesday. Well folks, I know this is a bit of a ramble so I will close it for now. I hope everyone is well and happy and that y'all are getting good use of the articles I've been posting here. If there is ANYTHING you want to ask or know about, let me know in the comments areas so that I can either look up the information for you and post it here or answer any personal questions that you may have. Remember, the only dumb question is the one not asked. Love to all.

Article...

This article can be found at:
http://bipolar.about.com/library/howto/ht-depress.htm

 

How to Recognize a Depressive Episode

If you or someone you love has unipolar or bipolar depression, you need to recognize the symptoms of a depressive episode and contact a doctor if they continue or grow serious.

Difficulty Level: average      Time Required: 10 minutes to read

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Here's How:

1. If you start having trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, keep a record and watch for other symptoms.
   
   
2. Be on the alert if your wife starts sleeping excessively. Seriously depressed persons can sleep as much as 20 hours a day in some cases.
   
   
3. Be concerned if your husband begins cancelling social engagements and staring at television programs he otherwise wouldn't watch.
   
   
4. Notice if mail - even bills - is piling up unopened, or other common tasks such as laundry, taking out garbage, etc., are not being done.
   
   
5. Marked change in appetite (increase or decrease), or significant weight gain or loss, can signify many conditions, including depression; consider it in light of other depressive symptoms.
   
   
6. Keep track of episodes of unexplained and uncontrolled crying.
   
   
7. Document feelings of sadness, guilt, worthlessness or despair that last most or all day for several days.
   
   
8. Be alert if you or your loved one exhibits signs of unusual worry, anger, negativity, helplessness or hopelessness.
   
   
9. Pay attention if you or a loved one begins to have difficulty making even simple decisions. This is a very common warning sign of depression.
   
   
10. Be sensitive to behavioral changes such as disorganization, inability to concentrate, or indifference to everyday necessary tasks.
    
    
11. Notice if actions and thoughts seem to be slowing down (psychomotor retardation) or speeding up jerkily (psychomotor agitation).
    
    
12. Watch your loved one for physical signs of depression such as slumped posture, frowning, decreased eye contact, frequent sighing, inattentive speech, or decreased sexual desires.
    
    
13. Contact the doctor quickly if you experience, or your loved one reports, recurrent thoughts of death and suicide.
    
    
14. If depressive symptoms appear after a change in medication, contact the prescribing doctor promptly.
    
    

Tips:

1. Depression can creep up on your slowly or descend quickly. If slowly, it can be harder to notice, especially in yourself. Get in the habit of observing yourself if you have depressive episodes.
   
2. Make a pact with your loved one that if one of you sees danger signals in the other, the affected person will take appropriate action such as contacting a doctor. Or make a pact with yourself!
   
3. This is not an exhaustive list of symptoms. You will encounter more through observation and reading. Add more red flags to this list as you learn them!
   

Related Features:

• Red Flags II - Warning Signs of Depression
  
• Depressive Episodes
  
• Mixed Mania/Mixed States
  

Dysphoria...

This artical can be found at: Dysphoria - Frequently Asked Questions . I thought I would share it here.

Dysphoria is a word that turns up often in the literature and in dicussions relating to bipolar disorder. However, the exact meaning of the word seems to be rather vague, and its use is often confusing. Lucie shared, "I went with my daughter to her pdoc [psychiatrist] on Tuesday and started talking about her dysphoria. The pdoc stopped me and asked me what I meant by dysphoria. I said that I understood dysphoria to be mania in the form of agitation, anger, etc. She said no, that is just mania. But I thought that mania came in a couple of forms - euphoric where you feel 'on top of the world' in one form or another and dysphoric where you are filled with rage, energy, agitation, rapid speech, etc. What's going on?" Poetprose responded, "Yeah, I get confused about dysphoria too. I thought it meant a crashing low depression" (from our forums).

The dictionary definition of dysphoria is actually very straightforward - a state of feeling unwell or unhappy. However, that could describe anything from PMS to raging flu to crying because your goldfish died! Many medical dictionaries define dysphoria simply as anxiety. But these definitions just do not describe properly the way dysphoria applies to the moods associated with bipolar disorder cycles. As shown by the dicussion above, many use dysphoria to define manic episodes while others associate it with depressive episodes. The truth is, it is actually quite valid as a description for either mania OR depression.

Dysphoric mania, as presented in the Merck Manual, is "prominent depressive symptoms superimposed on manic psychosis." Symptoms include:

• crying
  
• curtailed sleep
  
• racing thoughts
  
• grandiosity
  
• psychomotor restlessness
  
• suicidal ideation
  
• persecutory delusions
  
• auditory hallucinations
  
• indecisiveness
  
• confusion

In everyday English, the complex terms above include - trouble sleeping, racing thoughts, grandiosity, mental and/or physical agitation, thoughts of suicide, feeling persecuted for no reason, hearing things, and having trouble making decisions (along with others).

Dysphoric depression, more commonly referred to as a mixed episode, consists of "intrusions of hypomanic symptoms or hyperthymic traits into a retarded major depressive episode" (Merck). Basically, this means that characteristics of hypomania or overactivity occur during a depression that in general has the patient sluggish or listless. Symptoms include:

• irritability
  
• pressured speech against a background of retardation
  
• extreme fatigue
  
• guilty ruminations
  
• free-floating anxiety
  
• panic attacks
  
• intractable insomnia
  
• increased libido
  
• histrionic appearance with expressions of depressive suffering

Once again putting this into more common terms, these symptoms include: being easily angered, pressured speech in spite of slowed thinking, being overtired, dwelling on guilt feelings, being anxious in general (for no specific reason), serious difficulty in sleeping, extra sex drive, and being melodramatic about feeling depressed.

Important Note: When associated with either mania or depression, dysphoria is linked with a greatly increased risk for suicide and should always be brought to the attention of a medical professional.

Another condition recently included in the dysphoria spectrum is PMDD - Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. It is characterized by severe monthly mood swings along with other common symptoms of PMS. The mood swings can include irritability to rage to homicidal feelings, and severe depression to hopelessness to suicidal thoughts and urges. PMDD is a very serious condition and should be treated by a doctor. Please see the excellent Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder Resource linked in the sidebar above.

Personal Entry...

I'm starting to wonder if anyone that visits here actually reads past the first blog. I mean, normally, I have tried to post a couple of blogs per day, but then only the one on top shows and that is the only one that gets any comments. Maybe I should start posting just once a day?

Yes, I'm cycling again. I've never actually stopped in all honesty. At the moment, I'm in what is referred to as a mixed state. I'm one of the lucky ones though... I can recognize what's happening to me. Well, okay, MOST of the time I can. Not all the time.

I feel like I am yo-yoing between depression, aggravation and just flat-out blahness atm. *sigh* I hate being this way. I just want to be normal. That's a pipe dream, I know, but that doesn't stop me from having it anyway.

I've filled the day with working on website work and yet feel I have accomplished nothing.

My husband had start-up at the factory tonight, so he has left for work. The kids will be going to bed in about two hours and then I will have just a little time to myself before I have to go to bed too so that I can get up, get the kids off to school and get ready for my pdoc appointment all in time.

Apprehension has been filling me all day today over this appointment. I'm going to go, no doubt, but I'm starting to get seriously scared.

Remember how it felt, when you were a child and you had to go to the doctor's? If you suspected that you were going to get a shot or something or that the doctor was going to hurt you in some way... that gnawling fear that would take residence in your heart? Well, that is the only way I know how to describe what I am feeling over this appointment tomorrow with my new pdoc. Man, I hate feeling like this too!

Okay, I'm not going to babble on tonight. More tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to enter a personal blog with good news tomorrow.

Just a note...

dreamer911 brought up a point in the blog previous to this one.

The fact that I post articles and things like that here doesn't mean that I expect everyone to agree with or even to like them.

I just post things here that I find that I think may help BP suffers and the people that love them.

I do not take constructive critisim or personal opinion to the articles personally or find offense with things like dreamer commented.

In fact, I feel that you, the reader, who is posting their thoughts, is a wonderful way for me to add other things to this site that may be of more help to you and others who read here.

Nope, like I commented back to dreamer in that blog (which, by the way, I have often done... posting back to your comments in the comment area, so if you want to see if I have, be sure to recheck your comments that you left) posting your thoughts, views, etc. on articles just proves that we are all of free mind, free thought and free speech.

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The type of support friends and family can and can not provide:

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What activities can ease the pain and restlessness
...or what I want from others:

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What actions tend to decrease my personal stability:

The following breif article was found at: www2.health-center.com: Living with Bipolar Disorder Pages

When one member of a family has bipolar disorder, the illness affects every one else in the family. Family members often feel confused and alienated when a person is having an episode and is not acting like him or her self. During manic phases, family and friends may watch in disbelief as their loved one transforms into a person they do not know and can not communicate with. During episodes of depression, everyone can become frustrated desperately trying to cheer up the depressed person. And sometimes a person's moods are so unpredictable that family members may feel that they're stuck on a roller coaster ride that's out of control.

It can be tough, but family members and friends need to remember that having bipolar disorder is not the fault of the afflicted person. Supporting their loved one can make all the difference -- whether it means assuming extra responsibilities around the house during a depressive episode or admitting a loved one to the hospital during a severe manic phase.

Coping with bipolar disorder is not always easy for family and friends. Luckily, support groups are available for family members and friends of a person with bipolar disorder. Your doctor or mental health professional can give you some information about support groups in your area.