April 22, 2003
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Well ouch! Its been a month since I've blogged here. I've been on that old roller coaster from hell again. Question is, was I really ever off it?
I've been going to the BP Community though and that helps a lot. I think I would probably have already cracked up and been commited somewhere if it wasn't for the people there. They've saved me a thousand times over already.
I have an appointment, FINALLY, with my pdoc this coming Friday. I haven't been to see him in a month either because I had to cancel my last appointment on the 7th due to being so sick. I'm so glad that I am going Friday. I need this appointment really bad. I hope he found a therapist for me like he said he was going to work on for me. I know I need more then just going to him every two weeks.
I feel like I'm drowning and there's no way out of all this shit that is locked away inside of me. Sometimes I just feel like I don't have anyone to talk to at all, ever. There's things that I just can't talk to my husband about because he doesn't understand or he isn't really listening. Its not his fault, of course, but that's why I need a therapist.
I have become completely aggravated over a phone list that I keep. I've always kept it in my inboxes on my desk and now its gone. I'm really pissed off about this. I can't find it anywhere. I'm going to look in the car. That's the last place I can think of that it would be. Why it would be there, I don't know, but it certainly isn't anywhere in this house that I can find it!
Well, I know this is short, but I'm not on top of my game today. I just wanted to post a little and let everyone know that I'm still kicking.
Love and peace to you all.
Comments (2)
Well stick in there i know its hard. Ive suffered from bipolar manic depression sense i was 14 and it took them 4 years to actually diagnoise me correctly. So i have had alot of life taken away. My girlfriend now helps me threw it but alot of times i know she feels pushed away. Its not her fault for the way i am. but are lifes do clash. So i say yeah this lifestyles ruff but in the end it will all work out. Giving up is easy. This life is a challenge so its either face the challenge or give up.. Ive almost given up so many times. Now im doing so much better. I have my bad times tho
Hey, it's good to have you back.
Good luck with your appointment!
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