February 9, 2003

• I'm sorry I haven't been around to post lately. Life has been rough lately. Fell back into a depression due to the isoltion I had to go into in my room from being sick and dealing with kidney stones.

  
  

  See, I was really addicted to Pepsi. I drank a 12 pack per DAY. The day of Steven's (middle son) surgery, aftewards, when we were walking out, we stopped at the Pepsi machine and instead of getting Pepsi I got water. So the drink of Pepsi that I took before we left the house to take him in was the last time Pepsi has crossed my lips! But I drink more then 2.5 gallons of water now so its cleaning the old system out.

  
  

  I'm getting better on my med cocktail. It seems that I am more stable with an underlying tone of depression, but not as much. I haven't went up into a mania either. Sometimes I do slip farther down into the depression then I need to be but I eventually come up. I've been doing a lot of writing in my BP journal and that seems to help quite a bit.

  
  

  I still have days that stress and worry just get to me and I cry off and on all day long.

  
  

  Then there are those days that I spend in my online community for BP trying to help others.

  
  

  So that's what's been going on with me. Just fighting to survive.

  
  

  What have you been up to?

  • 5:50 pm
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