December 17, 2002
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Well I went to my pdoc appointment today and today's appointment was better then the last one was. My pdoc apologized for causing me to feel the way I did when I left our last session and reassured me that he wasn't going to just drop me as a patient. Abandonment issues really suck.
I got my Wellbutrin upped to the max dosage (well he said it was the mas dose) of 400mgs a day and the Seroquel to 200mgs a day. Hopefully this will cause me to see even more improvement then I am seeing.
My next appointment is 12/30 and I am going to walk in and remind him right at the start, "SSI Questions!" Those will take almost then entire session, so I will have to wait another two weeks to see him, or maybe I can get in the following week instead of waiting another full two weeks. If I feel that I need to. We'll see. My online BP community helps me a lot and my friend whom I email back and forth with now that I met in my BP community is like a Tdoc to me like you wouldn't believe not to mention blogging here and getting your feedback and then going and reading your sites.
The picture you see on my last blog and on this blog is a sad looking Christmas picture, I know. But that's how I feel. Christmas depresses me. Especially when I can't get the kids what they want. Anything they want actually. *sigh* But let's not get into that here. This is not the place nor the time. Ya know what I mean?
Okay, things are rough all over. I'm back on the roller coaster in and out of the vortex and the abyss.
Walking in a Bipolar Land......
Comments (3)
I really like those pictures
Im glad that your doctor apologized and that things seem to be looking up as far as the meds go.
I hope this is a better week for you. I dont think christmas is really the presents we got tons for the kids when they were little and they dont even remember it..try not to worry about it to much...i have a feeling yours will appreciate whatever you get them
B.
The winter holidays depress a lot of people. Here in the No. hemisphere, I think weather and long nights contribute to that, but there are also all those other sticky social and family issues making it rough. I had one of my worst nightmares ever, most depressing dream of my life, one Xmas eve. I dreamed I woke and found piles of presents under the tree. Of course, when I woke there were no presents. Geez, I hope that story doesn't sadden you... I was trying to say I identify. I see now, saw soon after that Xmas dream, how silly I was to get down about waking from a happy dream to harsh reality, instead of just enjoying the pleasant dream. But that's depression... it doesn't have to make sense.
You have the BEST site on Xanga, in my opinion!!!!! I love ya and hope you get to control your disease!!
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