November 19, 2002
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Here's one I got in the email today that I feel that I need to start reminding myself of each and everyday. Maybe I should print this one out and hang it right over my desk where I have to read it every morning and maybe post it right next to the bathroom mirror where I brush my teeth each morning too.....
Today's thought is:
[Suicide is] the severest form of self-criticism.
- Leonard Levinson
When we feel hopeless and despondent, suicide can seem like the best,
the easiest, and the fastest solution.
If we're feeling hopeless and despondent because of our financial
situation or an addiction or both, we need to get help. Suicidal thoughts
are more common than we might expect. Those who live to tell about
their thoughts will tell us how grateful they are for getting through-
rather than abruptly ending-the pain. In retrospect, they realize that no
loss or pain is worth ending our lives over.
We think it through. Our religious beliefs may tell us that suicide is a
sin, that our souls will suffer in purgatory. Or maybe we believe in
reincarnation and envision coming back into this world only to have to
repeat the pain-to get through the lesson-so that we learn what our
Higher Power has put us here to learn.
Today I will know in my heart that life gets better; life can be
cherished. The deeper my pain the greater the joy to come.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova copyright 2000
available through our online bookstore at:
http://www.hazeldenbookplace.org/store/product.asp?sku=1202
I have reasons to live. My kids, my husband, my friends. I hate this dark place that I am in right now.... emotionally and finacially... mentally and physically, but man, I want to say it can't get any worse, but I am scared to say that because I fear that it really can.
Sorry for the major downer enteries lately. Haven't had any hypomanic or manic cycles lately.
Comments (3)
Well it sounds like you are at least trying to think positive.
Haven't we all been there?
My doc today told me he thinks I am in remission. But I am still on lithium. Maybe it's only the meds that are putting me in remission. 
I still can't believe that just a year ago, I was in the hospital, ready to end it all.
Thanks for the great blog!
dont apologize for feeling the way you feel. I know when i read that you could be up or down...and im here all the same!
that was a really good blog and some great food for thought so to speak. You are very right you do have a lot to live for first and foremost yourself
hugs
belinda
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