October 26, 2002
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Thank you all for your loving, caring and supportive words! They mean a lot to me.
I'm dealing with reality one moment at a time. That's all I can do, right?
I have a pdoc appointment on the 29th. Boy, do I have things to talk to him about this time!
I'm going to ask if we can't go on and add an anti-depressant to the mood stablizers because I can't handle this depression any longer. I know what I just went through/am going through is contributing, but still, I need something to help with it. I know there's no miricle pill that is going to instantly lift me out of things, but I feel that I need more then the mood stablizers and he did say that on the next visit if my depression hadn't gotten any better that we would be adding one. *sigh*
I have to be careful to keep myself rooted in reality right now, no matter how bad I want to retreat to a fantasy, safe world and isolate myself from the real world. To that dark place that, if there too long, I can't find my way back out. I feel myself slipping again though. I'm scared.
Thank goodness I only have a few days to wait.
Well, I'm going to force myself to get dressed today, so I'm going to make myself get started on the day. Thank you all for being there.
Comments (4)
sometimes you need the help. My effexor is really helping me. Only bad side effect it that I have lost 10 pounds.
Good Luck to you this weekend. I hope your doc finds something to help you out.
Hang in there. If you fall to deep into the mucky dark just grab my hand and i will do whatever i can to help pull you up. Ive been down there but not that deep and being the fighter that I am i clawed my way out...
Does the doc give you and kind of counseling to help you get past the grief? My fiancees doc only gave him pills and more pills no counseling though and the pills didnt always help the issues behind the depression....just a thought grief can cripple as bad as anything i know all to well..
hugs and much strength to you and if i can do anything even if its just an ecard or ehug let me know
belinda
Hope your doc can help you move out of your depression with the appropriate medication. Like Belindaann, I also hope you're seeing a therapist to talk about the grief you're experiencing... Wishing you luck and offering supportive hugs. Take care!
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