October 16, 2002

• Went to my pdoc visit today. I have gained 12 pounds and am swelled like a giant weather balloon since being put on the Zyprexa. My feet themselves look like overfilled waterballoons on the ends of my legs. Skin stretched so tight that it's shiney.

  
  

  So pdoc took me off the zyprexa AND the neurontin! Yea for me! Then he added in Topamax. So now I am on:
  
  Topamax, 25mg twice daily for first seven days, then 50mg twice daily for the next 7 after that and will gradually increase to the max dose.

  
  

  I'm still on the klonipin, buspar and Lamictal as well.

  
  

  Getting that medication cocktail right is hard work, but we'll get there. I know we will.

  
  

  I was highly agitated today. Spilled it all out on my BP community forum's folder labled, "Get it off your chest," I HAD to vent. I was upset, agitated, pissed off, depressed, crying, the whole gambit of emotions today. It was a very rough day. I feel a little calmer now that the klonipin has kicked in with the buspar.

  
  

  I got a little aggravated with a poster here who commented that having a split personality "COULDN'T" be just two personalities. It most certainly can. *I* did research on it as soon as my pdoc suggested it. AND to suggest that I find another pdoc because of that aggravated me. I am very happy with my pdoc. I trust him 300% and he is the best pdoc I have ever had since being diagnosed 16 years ago and I have been to several pdocs over that time span as well as therapists and counslers and the whole thing.

  
  

  I'm not saying this to tick you off, I am just stating MY position on your comment. That was actually part of my agitation today. Sorry.

  
  

  Anyway, my visit with my pdoc went well even though I was in a mixed state, STILL. We know we have a rocky road to travel, but I am willing and committed to traveling it. I went without treatment for far too long, knowing better then to do it and now I have to go through the whole thing basically from the beginning again, but at least we have my medical history to get a few clues from this time.

  
  

  I will be starting tomorrow to get the support group meeting place ready for the first meeting. We have a total of six people now wanting to meet for group support so I have to get busy getting the three bedroom-two bath trailer that was GIVEN to us for FREE ready for that. I'll be using the large bedroom in the back for my office and retreat space... it faces the woods and then the large bedroom up front will serve as a guest room for when we have overnight visitors. The middle bedroom is going to become D's workshop for his woodworking and then the large living room and adjoining kitchen with a curved bar seperating the two will be for the bipolar support group meetings. Pretty cool, eh? And we don't have to pay lot rent on it until January. Even cooler! Its all going to be so great when we get it all fixed up.

  
  

  We're doing the immediate needs right now so we can get it ready for my first meeting with the BPSG. That is priority one. If I can't get it ready soon, then I am going to ask the management here if we can hold the meeting in the office house. If we can't, then maybe we can hold it at E's house if she will put the dog up. I don't have enough room at my place or I would gladly host it here. I'll find a place. That won't be a problem. I would just like to have them all, including the first one at the BPS trailer.
  
  Well folks, I just wanted to let you know how the day went. Talk to you soon.

  • 12:01 am
  • 2 Comments