October 14, 2002

  • Darkness surrounds me, shrouding me against the light
    I'm tired of caring, I'm tired of the fight.

    Take this med, take that med, these meds might help too
    Can't you see I just want to be one person, maybe normal like you?


    I missed a med, oh my god, the world is going to end
    If they are so important to you, you take them then!


    I hate the depression and would rather be manic
    I know you hate to hear me say that, it puts you in a panic

    But I know what I am, I know how I feel
    and I'm sorry, but it's not cured with the pills


    I want to laugh, to dance, to play the day away
    But I can't because the depression always keeps me at bay

    The person trapped inside of me, is happy and carefree
    Why can't she be on the outside looking in at me?

    I hate the pills, the meds, the cocktails
    Will it ever end?

    So I keep chugging along, hoping that
    Elusive cure is around the next bend.

Comments (4)

  • I know it is a hard road. Of course, you know that when those who love you want to take your meds it is because they see how much more miserable you are when you don't. It doesn't cure bipolar, that's true, but the depression is not so deep. They've probably seen your depression so dark and so bottomless that they were afraid you would take your own life. I'm glad you are chugging along. They keep learning more about the disorder, and perhaps someday they will be able to do much more to help you.

  • Just keep going...i know it's hard and no one can ever understand but you, but at least people care about you...they just want you to feel better

  • Just took my son to the psycologist, and it isn't ADHD. Next stop is to rule out bipolar, since there is the family history. I feel so guilty...........

  • Oh my gosh, your poem describes how I feel inside.

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