September 2, 2002
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Personal Entry...
I'm starting to wonder if anyone that visits here actually reads past the first blog. I mean, normally, I have tried to post a couple of blogs per day, but then only the one on top shows and that is the only one that gets any comments. Maybe I should start posting just once a day?
Yes, I'm cycling again. I've never actually stopped in all honesty. At the moment, I'm in what is referred to as a mixed state. I'm one of the lucky ones though... I can recognize what's happening to me. Well, okay, MOST of the time I can. Not all the time.
I feel like I am yo-yoing between depression, aggravation and just flat-out blahness atm. *sigh* I hate being this way. I just want to be normal. That's a pipe dream, I know, but that doesn't stop me from having it anyway.
I've filled the day with working on website work and yet feel I have accomplished nothing.
My husband had start-up at the factory tonight, so he has left for work. The kids will be going to bed in about two hours and then I will have just a little time to myself before I have to go to bed too so that I can get up, get the kids off to school and get ready for my pdoc appointment all in time.
Apprehension has been filling me all day today over this appointment. I'm going to go, no doubt, but I'm starting to get seriously scared.
Remember how it felt, when you were a child and you had to go to the doctor's? If you suspected that you were going to get a shot or something or that the doctor was going to hurt you in some way... that gnawling fear that would take residence in your heart? Well, that is the only way I know how to describe what I am feeling over this appointment tomorrow with my new pdoc. Man, I hate feeling like this too!
Okay, I'm not going to babble on tonight. More tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to enter a personal blog with good news tomorrow.
Comments (3)
Well, I don't actually read your site from your site; I read all of my blogs from the "Sites I Read" section of my own weblog. All the blogs are listed chronologically, so you might not have a problem with people who use Xanga that way. I hope this helped at all...
I read all of the ones from a particular day but I dont always comment as sometimes I dont know what to say. I dont want to set anyone off or offend anyone so if for some reason i cant quite think of the right words I dont say anything at all...what would you like? Would you rather have someone say something you may take the wrong way or that seemed like they didnt read it all and skimmed or would you just like to know they have been here? If i have your input maybe it will help me decide what to do since yours is not the only site I see that kind of comment on..im fairly new around here and still getting used to the place..
belinda
i kno dis question mgith b stupid .. buh isnt it hard havin a family with kids nd also dealing with ur situation of BP?
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