Month: April 2003

  • I have applied for Social Security Disability four different times due to my bipolar disorder. This last time was the fourth and they told me I didn’t qualify for disability because I hadn’t worked enough. Well duh! I haven’t worked due to my disability!


    But that’s okay, I then applied for SSI. Its like disability but its actually a supplimental income. Its based on who’s living in the house with you and the income in your house. If everything pretty much stays the same, so does your monthly check. So I applied back in the last half of September of last year. I had decided that I didn’t care how many times they denied me this time I wasn’t going to give up. I would appeal every single time they denied me, I wasn’t about to let them wear me down to the point of giving up this time. No siree bob!


    I got a phone call yesterday afternoon around 2pm. It was the very first lady that I had spoken with after I had applied online for Social Security.


    She said, “Hello, Stormy? This is xxxx from Social Security. I’m the lady you spoke with after you first applied in the latter half of September last year when you applied?”


    “Yes?” I said. “Well I need to verify everything is still the same as when you applied okay?” she questioned. “Okay,” I said wearily, thinking this is more of the red tape syndrome they just love to put you through to wear you down to giving up.


    “Okay Stormy, you’ve been approved and I just need to verify your address, who is in the household and all the incomes in the home.”


    My mind got stuck on the phrase, “YOU’VE BEEN APPROVED.” Did I hear her right? Did she just say I had finally been approved? “Okay,” I told myself in my head, “Do NOT go ballistic. Stay calm and toned down and ask her to repeat herself and if she says it again remain calm and just answer her questions.


    “Um, ma’am?” I interrupt, “Could you repeat that?” She repeated what I thought I heard. My heart leapt into my throat and tears sprang to my eyes. A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I literally felt the weight life. I quietly sobbed with felief. Finally! Finally! I was finally approved! My fourth time trying and I got approved the first time around! I couldn’t believe it.


    I asked her to excuse me for my emotional state, that it is just one of those days and she said she understood and offered to call the next day and I quickly said no that I would be okay. We proceeded with the verification process and she told me she would be sending the papers out and that I would be paid for October 2002 to the current and that I would start recieving my money around the first of May. I don’t know if the lump sum check is coming then, and I don’t care. I just know that I am finally getting the finacial help that I need from them to survive on!!!!


    When the package of papers come I just have to make certain that everything is correct and put in my current bank statement and copies of HH’s check stubs from last September to current and that’s it. We’re ready to go.


    I still can’t believe that after all these years and the other rejections, of which I actually appealed and was rejected twice on and then just quit, that I am finally approved. Its just unbelievable for me and the weight that is lifted off my shoulders… WOW. I am so relieved that it’s not even funny.


    Now if I could just get out of this blooming mixed state that I am in and stop rapid cycling and just be even again things would be alright for awhile. But I guess that I can’t have everything, eh?

  • Well ouch! Its been a month since I’ve blogged here. I’ve been on that old roller coaster from hell again. Question is, was I really ever off it?


    I’ve been going to the BP Community though and that helps a lot. I think I would probably have already cracked up and been commited somewhere if it wasn’t for the people there. They’ve saved me a thousand times over already.


    I have an appointment, FINALLY, with my pdoc this coming Friday. I haven’t been to see him in a month either because I had to cancel my last appointment on the 7th due to being so sick. I’m so glad that I am going Friday. I need this appointment really bad. I hope he found a therapist for me like he said he was going to work on for me. I know I need more then just going to him every two weeks.


    I feel like I’m drowning and there’s no way out of all this shit that is locked away inside of me. Sometimes I just feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to at all, ever. There’s things that I just can’t talk to my husband about because he doesn’t understand or he isn’t really listening. Its not his fault, of course, but that’s why I need a therapist.


    I have become completely aggravated over a phone list that I keep. I’ve always kept it in my inboxes on my desk and now its gone. I’m really pissed off about this. I can’t find it anywhere. I’m going to look in the car. That’s the last place I can think of that it would be. Why it would be there, I don’t know, but it certainly isn’t anywhere in this house that I can find it!


    Well, I know this is short, but I’m not on top of my game today. I just wanted to post a little and let everyone know that I’m still kicking.


    Love and peace to you all.